What I'm Loving While I Heal
Artist: Henry Darger
I've recently reached an amazing milestone! It's big news, and I want to celebrate with everyone in my web of healers, clients and supporters.
But like any story with chronic illness, there's a deep low before there's a peak.
I spent most of February and March on the couch, the life totally zapped out of me. One week I was running and celebrating strides of improvement from heavy metal chelation therapy, the next I was at a yoga class and everything got really slow and really dizzy. I spent the next few weeks in a daze of disbelief that my body would once again slide this far down. Lots of time staring at the wall in delirium. Lots of boring TV. Lots of weeping.
But if March offered my anything, it offered me long stretches of idleness, time to think, and the invitation to be so, so tender with myself. I meditated morning, afternoon and evening. And instead of panicking, I tried to listen: Life, what are you trying to tell me with this breakdown?
My body knew before I did. I must have Lyme disease, I realized during meditation one day. That's the only unturned stone. Although I'd already tested negative for Lyme four times at conventional labs (ie, Quest, LabCorp), my intuition told me that I should pursue results from a more expensive and precise lab (Igenex).
The rest was miraculous: a sobbing phone call a specialist who books nine months out, a fortuitous opening the next week!, a loving partner to support me, a mom to drive my broken body to Columbia, a three hour appointment that validated seven years of horrible undiagnosed illness, and encouraging parting words from my doctor: You're ahead of the game. Full recovery is more than possible. You're doing great.
Two weeks later, I got the results in the mail.
Yep, I knew it.
I've been officially diagnosed with Lyme disease.
Since getting the news, I have ramped by self-care into full gear. It felt SO empowering to get back home to St. Louis and dive into my treatment without needing to start from the beginning or read a million books. (Okay, I read three.) My kitchen counter was overflowing with with jars of bone broth, turmeric, raw garlic, loads of supplements, and organic coffee for enemas.
Now, it's mid May. I'm feeling the love of my antibiotic, homeopath and detox protocol. It's a roller coaster, but I trust one day I'll be able to get off this wild ride.
People often ask me what I do to be well, so I want to share some of my essentials. I love swapping ideas with other folks actively seeking health, and I hope these ideas are helpful for others. It's worth a try, right?
1. Insight Timer App
This is an amazing free meditation app I use everyday - especially during my afternoon rest time to soothe my rambling mind or when I’m going through a bad flare up and I need grounding. There are thousands of meditations to check out. I especially love the ones by Sarah Blondin.
2. Trusted teachers
I have been working with a fantastic coach to help me drop some of my limiting beliefs around my health issues and move forward with my coaching business. Coaching has helped me focus on everything I am healing for - a vibrant life with my sweetheart, mountain climbing and travel. Once again, I am blown away by the transformative power of coaching.
3. Far Infrared Sauna
I’ve been using this sauna everyday to incite a “fake fever” as part of my detox protocol. I usually get a good sweat on for about 30 minutes. It’s super easy to fold up, and a great party trick when friends come over.
4. New Language
The body takes all its cues from the brain. For that reason, I'm extra careful with the language I use, making sure never to say “I have Lyme disease” or "I’m sick” but always “I’m healing from Lyme" or "I’m recovering from an illness.” My body is learning to disassociate from those identities with every positive spin.
5. Work I Love
Over the fall, I went on an Enneagram Teacher Training retreat and spent the entire weekend in a ball of pain and fatigue. A beautiful, wise woman there saw my life so clearly: "Sweetie, you are getting a PhD in something you don’t know yet.” When I coach, I am cashing in on my seven year education in how to thrive with illness. Companioning people toward health - is there any better medicine than that?
